Outnumbered #2 - At the Doctor

As a mom with three boys under 3, doctor's appointments (sadly) take up more room than anything else on my calendar. I'm not sure if it's because we actually spend all our time there, or if I'm just afraid I'll forget them if I don't write them down. Probably a little of both!

Anyway, I thought this would make a great second installment in the "Outnumbered" series, where I'm chronicling segments of my life as a chicken with its head cut off. Without further adieu, I present our most shining moments at the doctor's office:

• The second time we took Johnny to Boise (we were living in Twin Falls at the time) for his kidney evaluation, I was just barely pregnant with Zach. As they were trying to find a vein on Johnny's little arm, I was in the corner eating saltines, trying my hardest not to pass out. There was one nurse assigned specifically to me. It was a good thing Paul was there to help Johnny, because I wasn't particularly helpful that day! 
• When Johnny had his kidney surgery, he was 14 months old and I was two weeks from having Zach. I ate an entire bag of chocolate mini-donuts while he was in surgery. I think I'll note here that I would MUCH rather be sick myself than watch my babies suffer. I hate it! Anyway, that night, I slept with Johnny in his hospital crib - 38 weeks pregnant. I'm pretty sure I didn't get all my REM cycles that night.
• In the delivery room with Johnny, right after he was born, everyone abandoned me so they could see the baby. My epidural had worked REALLY well, so with no one there to help me, both my legs fell off the table and there was nothing I could do about it. I think they refer to me as "The Flash."
• We had to take Johnny to the emergency room when he was barely 2 because he had an ibuprofen pill stuck up his nose. 
• The last time I took the two older boys in for their well-checks, Zach was screaming as usual, so I was focusing all my attention on him. When the doctor came in the room, we couldn't find Johnny! Don't worry, we found him in the cupboard under the sink. 
• One time we took Zach in to the Quick Care because he had an ear infection. The doctor refused to see him because he was screaming. Really?! I don't think the guy had ever met a kid before. 
• The only way we could get Johnny to hold still during an ear exam one day was to let him play angry birds on the iPad. The doctor told us he'd never seen a kid hold that still! We were so proud. 
• I've only taken all 3 boys by myself one time, and here's why: while we were in the waiting room, Johnny stood at the front desk telling the receptionist all about her fish tank while Zach ran around the room pooping. I would've wrestled them down, but Toby had decided he was hungry so I was feeding him. Meanwhile, Johnny proceeded to dump goldfish all over the playroom floor and then the receptionist handed me my paperwork. Multitasking, anyone? Then they called us back, where I changed Zach's poopy diaper while the nurse finished feeding Toby his bottle. Meanwhile, Johnny ran up and down the hall, refusing to come into the room. Eventually we found out Zach had a double ear infection and needed 5 shots. Such good news.

As you can see, we really enjoy our time at the doctor. That's why we go so often!

Outnumbered! (and Kids in Church)

Toby is here! That makes 3 little boys and 2 VERY outnumbered parents. Oddly enough, we couldn't be happier!

Baby Tobias Vaun Young was born via a scheduled C-section (which was phenomenally easier than an emergency one, by the way!) at 7:58 AM on Friday, December 14th, 2012. He weighed 6 lbs 9 oz, was 19 inches long, and had the cord wrapped twice around his neck. The doctor said that we would've ended up having to do another C-section even if we had tried the other way. This proves again that Heavenly Father was guiding us in our decisions, just like with Johnny and Zach. All three of our babies are such miracles!

Our lives have greatly changed, and we love it! Johnny and Zach love Toby more than I ever thought they could, and it's so amazing to watch them bond. They try so hard to be soft with him (TRY is the key word there), and it's so sweet!

So, the real purpose of this post is to begin a series of posts depicting different segments of our amazing life as parents. These are moments that I just don't want to forget. I dedicate this to all you parents out there thinking, "My kids are nuts." As I am about to show you, ALL of them are nuts. This particular post, I plan to highlight a few of the joys of taking kids to church. Here you go!

• One of the first Sundays we took Johnny to church, he pooped on a lady during sacrament meeting. I don't mean he tooted in her lap - the lady had POOP on her dress! Luckily it was time to go home. 
• When Johnny was about 6 months old, we were sitting in sacrament meeting and he had one of those long, explosive toots that make everyone turn and smile at you. As all the turners and smilers were watching, he smiled up at me and belched with all the force he could muster. What a charmer.
• Round binkies, otherwise known as little devils, do not like church. Zach went through a throwing phase, and there was one poor bald man that he particularly liked to aim for. Every Sunday. 
• You could easily stock an entire grocery store with the fruit snacks, cereal, goldfish, and raisins that we've ground into the seats and carpets of the chapel. 
• A few months ago, we had to take Johnny out in the middle of a musical number because he was screaming bloody murder, presumably trying to upstage the soloist. 
• And now, I present to you the mother of all awful Sundays! Enjoy:

About 10 months ago, Paul was asked to speak in sacrament meeting. We had only been in the ward about 3 weeks, so we didn't know a whole lot of people. I knew I was going to have to handle an 18-month-old and a 2 and 1/2-year-old all by myself that day, so I packed WELL. Little did I know, it really wouldn't matter WHAT I packed.

When Paul got up to speak, the boys both got really excited and kept pointing and yelling, "DADDY!"  I was completely embarrassed, but that was just the beginning of my troubles... Johnny decided he needed to be up there WITH Daddy, and started trying every escape tactic in the book. I had a few good evasive maneuvers and was actually faring pretty well until Zach started screaming. I looked away for a split second to help Zach, and Johnny was gone.

At first he stood just out of reach (I had Zach on my lap so I couldn't just jump up and grab him), taunting me with a big grin. I showed him every single car and fruit snack I had packed trying to lure him back in, but no luck. The second I stood up to grab him, he was off. People were most definitely watching us at this point, which was okay since Paul was just beginning to introduce us from the pulpit. Speaking of the pulpit, Johnny was on his way there. He hesitated at the stairs, gave me one last look of triumph, and darted onto the stand. One of the bishopric members caught him and held him on his lap for a minute, at which point Johnny looked out at the congregation and suddenly became very serious. He knew he was in trouble! He got down, came down the stairs, caught my eye yet again, and turned to run across in front of the pulpit. I set Zach down, who immediately started screaming as if he were in mortal peril, and ran to grab Johnny.

Johnny saw me coming and darted up the other set of stairs to stand by his daddy at the pulpit. Zach was still screaming, and I hesitated to go onto the stand and add more fuel to the fire. I ran back to take Zach out, and Johnny followed me - thank heavens! However, as soon as we were out the door, I tried to reach into my bag for ANYTHING that would calm Zach down, and Johnny seized the moment to run right back into the chapel....and back onto the stand. The poor bishopric member snatched him up and brought him out, at which point several sweet women came out to help me. After the meeting, every single person in the ward came to talk with us. What a way to meet the new ward: HERE WE ARE!!!